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“If you are always fighting, if you bite and tear each other like a pack of angry dogs, later there will be nothing left of you.” − Galatians 5:15 (DB)
Do you remember the day you got married? It was a beautiful day, wasn’t it?
Your heart was full of joy and you had an expectation for the future. You couldn’t imagine life with the beautiful person standing by your side.
Do you remember the words: “Before God and his congregation, I promise love and fidelity forever and under all circumstances”.
Then you lit the ring. In some traditions they say it like this: “With this ring: I, _____, take thee, _____, to be my wedded wife/husband, to have and to hold from this day forward, for better, for worse, for richer, for poorer, in sickness and in health, to love and to cherish, till death do us part, according to God’s holy ordinance; and thereto I pledge thee my faith.”
Sorry for the English, but it says it all.
But now everything has become sour and unpalatable. Some married people just seem to bring out the worst in each other.
It’s blame, yesterday’s disappointments that are dug up again and again.
It’s swear words and language that doesn’t belong to believers.
It’s separate rooms and long nights lying awake. It’s treating each other stiffly, regardless of who is around. The atmosphere is so thick you could cut it with a knife.
Admittedly, there come times in any relationship when people proverbially miss each other and misjudge each other. After all, we are dealing with people, not machines or robots.
Life happens and it also happens within the four walls of our homes. Yet it passes. The sooner you get to the point where you ask each other for forgiveness, the better. The longer you wait, the harder it gets.
In times of discomfort, the worst thing you can do is share your pain with friends.
Find a professional who can maintain distance and bring perspective.
Often the well-meaning boyfriend or girlfriend is himself someone whose relationship life leaves much to be desired.
Things get even more complicated when there are children. Children are children, we are the adults.
We must do everything we can to act like mature people who have thought everything through properly.
I’m not saying there isn’t life on the other side of your current or previous marriage. I’m just saying God is able to make whole what’s broken.
After all, before God and his congregation, I promise love and fidelity, forever and under all circumstances!
- ToekomsVenster is a daily message to equip individual believers with practical faith skills. Small group accompaniments, DVDs and functional sermon sketches are available from Drienie ([email protected]) or visit www.toekomsvenster.co.za
