Sandy Schoeman, author of ‘Red Letter Kind’. (Photo: Provided)
Sandy Schoeman’s experience as a parent of an adopted child is actually the universal story of a mother’s challenges with parenting.
Yes, Daniela Malan* is not her biological child and Sandy does not have any previous parenting experience, but she has turned to other mothers many times for advice and then realized that her challenges are also experienced by other families.
From the confrontation with a child’s unfathomable emotions and self-injury, to the total discouragement when it feels as if you, as a mother, just can’t master the parenting thing.
“In my opinion, most people around my children were totally sorted and they were on track, and I, especially when Dani was younger, really thought that it was only her who was struggling.
“I only realized very late in the story that other children, who had been doing well until that stage, also started to struggle,” says Sandy in an interview with Rhewal.
Sandy shares their experience of foster care, the adoption process, and above all the joy of parenthood in her book, Red letter kidpenned down.
Red letter kid starting with Sandy telling that she and her husband could not have children of their own. That need just never went away, and when they got the opportunity to take a child into foster care, the couple took it.
Yet the sharing of information was not the main reason why she wrote a book.
“I regretted it for a long time, because the book was initially only intended for my child’s eyes,” says Sandy.
Red letter kid is, as it were, a record of her daughter’s origins; something that is largely missing because she doesn’t have photos, souvenirs or family to talk to like other children. “It was part of a therapeutic process to help my daughter move from her previous world of life to the new life with us. I wanted to write her story especially for her.”
Sandy’s closing thoughts on her story, the challenges that come with parenthood and this book, in which she talks candidly about foster care and adoption, is about the role that faith plays in her life.
“I would not have been able to do this without being deeply anchored in my faith. If you get to a point where you don’t have the answer, then the Bible actually reminds you that you shouldn’t trust and rely on your own insights.”
* Readers chime in Red letter kid acquaintance with Sandy’s daughter Daniela Malan, better known as Dani, but her and most other characters’ names have been changed to pseudonyms for privacy or other considerations.
- Listen to the full interview with Sandy Schoeman, author of Red letter kid. Sandy tells more about her journey from foster care to adoption, and she expands on her experience of parenthood.
- Red letter kid is published by Naledi Publishers. The book costs R240 (price subject to change). Click here to Red letter kid available from Graffiti Books.
